Saturday, October 18, 2008

Offer Your Heart

Now for one of the most beautiful mysteries of the feminine heart.

Women minister something to the heart of God that men do not. Look at the record. It was a woman who rushed into the Pharisee’s house uninvited and washed Jesus’ feet with her tears, dried them with her hair and kissed them in an act of intimate repentant worship. It was a woman who broke the alabaster vase over Jesus’ head, anointing him with oil and the fragrance of her sacrificial worship filled the room. It was women who followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. It was women who stayed at the foot of the cross offering him the comfort of their presence until Jesus breathed his last. It was to women that Jesus first revealed himself after he rose from the dead and it was women who first “clasped his feet and worshiped him” as the Risen, Victorious Lord.

Women hold a special place in the heart of God. A woman’s worship brings Jesus immense pleasure and a deep ministry. You can minister to the heart of God. You impact Him. You matter. Jesus desires you to pour out your love on him in extravagant worship that ministers to his heart. This is not just for women who have the time; women who are really spiritual. You are made for romance and the only one who can offer it to you consistently and deeply is Jesus.

Offer your heart to him.

(Captivating, 124-125)

Saturday, September 20, 2008

It Appears Sensible To Opt Out

Wow, today's devotional. It says a lot. It is so true that we tend to do this "becoming our own directors and playwrights at least promises a level of control over the script." We want to control so much, and God is saying, 'I have a bigger picture than you can see, if you will just let go and give the control to Me, I already have the smash Broadway play written for your life! I already have the book written...and it's good, it's right, it's my plan for you. There is joy there and if you just let go, just surrender, allow Me to guide you into the bigger play, the bigger picture, it will come together, and then you will see...' and truly then we will say to The Lord "Why did I ever doubt you, how could I have ever thought I knew better."

"At one point in the long, arduous campaign of delivering to Judah the bad news of coming judgment and futile calls for repentance, Jeremiah explodes with thoughts that have apparently been building in him for a while with regard to God’s use of him:

O Lord, you deceived me, and I was deceived;
you overpowered me and prevailed.
I am ridiculed all day long;
everyone mocks me.
Whenever I speak, I cry out
proclaiming violence and destruction.
So the word of the Lord has brought me
insult and reproach all day long.
But if I say, “I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot. (Jer. 20:7–9 niv)

Jeremiah complains that not only has God written a play that casts him in a devastating role, but that he has also placed a fire in his heart that will not let him leave the play even if he wants to.

…Faced with the Message of the Arrows and a part too big that God the Cosmic Playwright insists is ours, with little clarity on the meaning and relationship of our scenes and character to the larger play, it appears more than sensible to opt out and go off-Broadway. Even though the smaller plays we write are often just pieces of stories, becoming our own directors and playwrights at least promises a level of control over the script. We hope we can eliminate most of the relational unknowns along with the villain and live in our smaller stories with some modicum of peace and quiet.

What is this drama God has dropped us into the middle of? What act of the play are we in and what do our scenes have to do with the larger story being told?" The Sacred Romance

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Interesting article

I had my eyes opened to some things recently. I have been "listening" to what is being said around me from many different directions. I keep hearing a theme. People have been coming to me from many different facets of life and through their unprompted sharing, have spoken volumns to me. More confirmations from the Lord on so many things He has been teaching me. Since the movie is coming out in a couple of weeks that I blogged about, I thought this article was interesting that was in my email today. Many of these points reminded me of some things I needed to remember....thought I would share it with others.

"Are you ready for a relationship that is going to lead somewhere without you being led on? It's time to start weeding out the commitment phobics and put your time and effort into men that are looking for the kind of relationship you want -- one that has a future. If you're interested in getting married, ignore these at your own risk. Here's what to look for:
1. His friends are married
If you are interested in a guy, check out his friends' left hands to see if they have wedding rings on.
Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married.
Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married. If all of his friends are still single and in the "party-with-the-boys" phase, that's a bad sign.
2. He's financially secure
Studies show that men who own a home are more marriage-ready. A man who is generally financially stable, and has his ducks in a row, feels marriage is a practical next step for him.
3. He pursues you
The guy who is commitment-ready is going to initiate doing things with you. If you're emailing him and he takes days to email you back, if you have to text him to find out where he is, if you are always calling him, you're chasing a man who's probably not marriage-material.
4. He's willing to wait
Yes, research is telling us what we already know: If a guy gets to know you before getting intimate, he is more likely to commit.
5. He watches DVDs with you when you're sick
Taking care of you when you're sick shows that this guy isn't just in it for the fun and sex. If he wants to be with you in bad times, it's a sign he's in it for the long haul.
6. He gets to know your friends and family
A guy who is thinking long-term wants to truly get to know you. Seeing you interact with your family and friends helps him learn where you come from and more about who you are. The flip side of it is that he will also want you to get to know him! He'll want to see if you fit in with his family and friends. A guy who keeps you separate from the important people in his life is just playing around.
7. He says, "we" instead of "me"
When he switches from "me" to "we", that's a sign he's committing to you at a deeper level. If your guy is all, "I", "me", and "my" instead of "we" and "us" in conversations after you've been dating a while, his mindset is still in single guy mode.
8. He's not afraid of compromise

A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way.
A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way. A bull-headed guy who needs everything his way or it's the highway, isn't ready for the compromise that's naturally part of a mature relationship.
9. He doesn't need excuses
Commitment-phobic guys always have an excuse about why they can't be with you on Saturday night, why they didn't call, and why they aren't ready for a relationship right now. A commitment-ready guy doesn't need excuses, he just needs you.
10. He likes being in a long-term relationship
Some men like being in a monogamous relationship and some don't. The sooner you realize and accept this the better. If he complains all the time about needing space, treats you like a giant burden instead of a gift, and keeps talking about taking things slow, he's telling you he's not ready for a commitment. On the other hand, if he's done with the party scene, enjoys your "couple time" together, and has a strong sense of family, you've found a commitment-ready guy."
Caroline Presno, Ed.D., P.C.C.,

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Over Flowing

Where do I start? So much has been happening this past several weeks. A new church, a writing class, filming in the studio, Sisters of Ruwanda (now known as 8Keza which means "Beautiful"), movies, Shakespeare in the Park, stacking wood :-), new places in The Lord, the county fair, awesome worship, new revelation, new classes, God promotions......Wow, I could go on and on. We're moving into a new place....spiritually and in the physical. You can feel it, see it, taste it....things are not the same, not what they used to be. No more same old same old....there is a stirring, a fire, an expectancy, an excitement, a knowing of what God is doing and about to do in the body of Christ. Revival is happening around the world. And in and through all of this, Jesus is showing himself strong in us, showing Himself in a new way to us and confirming His word every step of the way. We are entering into that rest, the rest where we cease from our labor or work, and truly trust and follow Him into what He has called us to. It's not an arrival, but the next level, the next step, following Him into the unkown if you will, neverthless, it's very real....exciting and scary.

There is a new movie coming out that was dropped into my email today from a friend. I hope everyone will go to see it. I have already bought tickets to go. See the trailer on my home page. It is very, very good and to see something like this, that is so near and dear to my heart, be released into the main stream theatre/media is just another thing The Lord is up to. In a time, like no other, when marriage, God's plan for marriage, is under such an attack from every side, here comes this movie. The timing is no mistake, just like The Passion of the Christ and it's release. It's no coincidence that a new class at church is starting in 2 weeks on Building Strong Marriages, or that I have been drawn to read Song of Solomon (no easy feat). I haven't read Song of Solomon in a long while, and that has been on purpose. It is easily the most erotic book written on marriage, courting, sex, make up sex, fighting fair, God's plan on how to do it right. Not easy to read when your single and don't have the mate to go to and...let's say.....put into action what you've just learned......hmmmm? Yea, you know what I mean (bow chica bow wow, chica bow wow).

Anyway, I have been wanting to blog for a couple of weeks and have been.....'productive' in so many area's that I have not had the time to do it. I have been reading a lot of things, Song of Solomon, Prophecy from MorningStar ministry, Captivating, some from Wild At Heart, Esther (I just love her), Ruth (another favorite), listening to new Worship music and messages from church, The Scene. And through all of this, God has been leading me, teaching me, a common thread woven throughout...........marriage, relationships, are not black and white, not cut and dry, not perfect. He is teaching me that there are many facets, many sides to it and many facets and many sides to each of us. Sometimes we will be pursued, and sometimes we will pursue (Song of Solomon Chapter 6 where they have a fight, he leaves, she pursues, she perfumes the bed, prepares it....why? Make up sex.) In the beginning of this book, she is pursued by The Beloved, romanced, wooed if you will. But something I noticed this time, they both have words of encouragement and building each other up, especially to their friends. Not backbiting or talking behind each others back, but she is telling her girls when they ask "What is your beloved any more than another beloved?" Oh my, have you seen her response..Chapter 5 vs 10-16. She is raving about her man. "Chief among ten thousand...his eyes, his cheeks, his lips, his hands, his legs....Excellent as the cedars. She says he is altogether lovely and she finishes this talk by saying "This is my beloved, and this is my friend." She know's who he is to her, she is assured of him and his love and she can't say enough about this amazing man God has given to her. And don't even think about saying anything against her beloved or it's Zena Warrior Princess time! But look in Chapter 6 vs 4-10 at what The Beloved has to say about his woman "you are beautiful, lovely, awesome as an army, my dove, my perfect one." You get the picture. But the point here is not that this relationship is perfect, what they were saying to each other at this point was after they had fought. The movie "Fireproof" gives a similar message....even if you have fought, argued, disagreed, don't leave your partner behind....God will make you stronger and closer with every thing that you go through. Committment is what you see in Song of Solomon, in this movie 'Fireproof". It's so easy to walk away, it's so easy to say I can't do this anymore, because most are doing that. But God is calling us back to a higher level, a new beginning, a new committment, a fresh anointing on marriages. The relationship can and will be better than ever, and He needs us to be the examples instead of the statistics. To show a lost world that it can be done through Jesus, that it can be a taste of heaven on earth as God intended. Yea it takes work, it takes putting the other person before yourself.....but that's true love, God's love.

We all want to be loved and cared about, nothing wrong with that at all. But when we do pray for God's best for each other, then we are loving at a higher level than our little understanding. None of us are perfect and we're all in process and that's OK. It takes the pressure off when we can trust God and know His very best for us is manifesting around us daily in every area of our lives. That we are walking in His will and our destiny...Wow.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Song of Solomon...He's talking to me!

It's been a really astounding time. Lot's going on, up's and downs that come, but making progress in what He is teaching me. Sometimes things He teaches us are hard, even painful, sometimes they are just plain wondrous. Like how you can be down, and He comes along side you and woo's you, loves you, talks to you, guides you...and yes romances you. Would you believe all of those things in the past many weeks He has been to me. I'm getting some things that I never got before, seeing some things I never even thought of. As I have been listening to Captivating again on CD, I am learning more and more about myself, but just as much, and oddly I didn't expect this....I am learning more and more about my husband. Let me explain.

As I have been listening to Chapter after Chapter, I am rediscovering who God made me to be, and why He made me, as a woman to be this way. Rediscovering that the attributes He has placed in me are His attributes, I am His daughter; therefore, there is nothing for me to be ashamed of. He is Beauty, everything about Him is beautiful, and He has given me a beauty to unveil. He is affectionate and a Lover, so He has given me not only a need for affection, but to give affection and be a lover as well. What He has been showing me is quite amazing. As I rest in Him, as I grow towards my full potential in Him, as I walk into the Destiny He is calling me to, the more I am getting to know Him and who I am in Him.....the Lover of my soul.

I was pondering many things last night, and talking with Jesus. Troubled about some things, concerned about others, questioning even some additional things. When I woke up this morning, as I opened my bible, I just grabbed it and it opened to Song of Solomon 4. This is a new bible, a New Kings James Version, I haven't had it long, so it didn't fall open there from lots of use, and I have never read this book in this particular bible. Anyway, that's not important. But what is important, is that He began romancing me this morning and that matters. As I read the following chapter, I realized after what I had been talking to Him about last night, that He was answering me, He was romancing me, loving on me, but here is the newest revelation that I have gotten from this, for me anyway; He has been and is continuing to teach me about my husband. The example He is showing me, is giving me, the way He is being with me in every way, He is showing me what my husband is going to ultimately be like, how he will relate to me, how he already had those attributes of God in him (just like me, it is a process too). Now let me clarify, I'm not talking about a perfect man here, I'm talking about a man that will naturally walk in and project Jesus' attributes, because God created him to be that way. God already placed in him those attributes, and just like me, sometimes it takes longer to realize who we are, who he has made us to be, understand those attributes and walk in them, but He loves us enough to keep teaching us until we get it. So as you read the chapter below, remember this is the wedding day/night in Song of Solomon. Not only is this a picture of Jesus and His Bride, the church, but it is a true picture of a Husband and his Wife. See if you see the parallel between God and His attributes, and those same attributes he has placed in the man. In this book, he is the man that makes his intentions known; he doesn't keep her guessing, just like God does with us. He pursues her with the love and passion that takes her breath away, just like God does with us. He communicates with her, tells her how he feels, opens his heart to her and trusts her with his love, just like God does with us. He woo's her, compliments her, fights for her and her love, just like God does with us. He shows his strength to her just like God does with us. And what is the return? She willingly, passionately, completely and totally abandons herself to him, not holding anything back. Ready to love and honor and respect him because of all of these attributes God has placed in him....he is walking in and trying to walk in. Being the man that God created him to be and she being the woman God created her to be. It has been an amazing revelation, and I don't know that what I can write here will do it justice. I hope this blesses you all in so many ways.

Song of Solomon 4
THE Beloved
1 Behold, you are fair, my love!
Behold, you are fair!
You have dove’s eyes behind your veil.
Your hair is like a flock of goats,
Going down from Mount Gilead.
2 Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep
Which have come up from the washing,
Every one of which bears twins,
And none is barren among them.
3 Your lips are like a strand of scarlet,
And your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
Are like a piece of pomegranate.
4 Your neck is like the tower of David,
Built for an armory,
On which hang a thousand bucklers,
All shields of mighty men.
5 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
Twins of a gazelle,
Which feed among the lilies.
6 Until the day breaks
And the shadows flee away,
I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh
And to the hill of frankincense.
7 You are all fair, my love,
And there is no spot in you.
8 Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse,
With me from Lebanon.
Look from the top of Amana,
From the top of Senir and Hermon,
From the lions’ dens,
From the mountains of the leopards.
9 You have ravished my heart,
My sister, my spouse;
You have ravished my heart
With one look of your eyes,
With one link of your necklace.
10 How fair is your love,
My sister, my spouse!
How much better than wine is your love,
And the scent of your perfumes
Than all spices!
11 Your lips, O my spouse,
Drip as the honeycomb;
Honey and milk are under your tongue;
And the fragrance of your garments
Is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12 A garden enclosed
Is my sister, my spouse,
A spring shut up,
A fountain sealed.
13 Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
With pleasant fruits,
Fragrant henna with spikenard,
14 Spikenard and saffron,
Calamus and cinnamon,
With all trees of frankincense,
Myrrh and aloes,
With all the chief spices—
15 A fountain of gardens,
A well of living waters,
And streams from Lebanon.
THE Shulamite
16 Awake, O north wind,
And come, O south!
Blow upon my garden,
That its spices may flow out.
Let my beloved come to his garden
And eat its pleasant fruits.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Visiting my Parents

When I went home to visit my parents a couple of weekends ago, my sister sent with me this cool 10ft x 10ft Gazebo. Me and my sister-in-law put it together for Mom and Daddy. They live in the country, so their driveway is gravel and we set it next to the house to get it as level as possible. We put folding chairs in it, a small fridge my brother gave them, a fan, and yes a throw rug! Pretty redneck huh! But hey, I also put white lights along the inside, so it's a pretty cool place to come in out of the sun when Daddy's been working in the garden or just to get some fresh air. At night it's pretty with the lights, and you can sit out there and hear the crickets and feel a cool breeze. They were really enjoying it. We even broke it in by having a picnic in there. You will notice that we put the gas grill right outside...Ha, Ha! All the conveniences of home right outside your back door....literally!

Daddy has had a pretty good garden this year. His tomatoes and corn are starting to come in and his trusty helper "Sam" is right there with him. Daddy loves this dog. He is an Australian shephard I think. Sam actually belongs to the neighbors at the end of their road, but Sam thinks he belongs to my parents so they feed him and keep him and he stays there most of the time. This pic is too funny, he looks like "you talkin' to me!?" Just thought I'd share some from East TN.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Living in the Present

You know, life is full of surprises, twists and turns, but truly an amazing adventure. It's about connections, opportunities, moments, present moments, that will take us to the next step, the next moment the next level the next place, all bringing us to the point where, we don't arrive, but we move to the next chapter. God in all His infinite wisdom, placing pieces to the puzzle of our lives, one at a time, until we get to a point that we can actually begin to see the blueprint, the picture of our life begin to take shape and form, where we begin to walk truly in the middle of His will, His plan, and when it comes together, it's like the whole world stops. Like you have stepped into heaven on earth, and 'suddenly' all is right. All is coming together, and you know that you know that God is truly leading your every step. And your humbled, and your in awe, and you watch with great wonder, as He unviels His beauty, and a little more of His plan for your life, and you are ecstatic with the scope and possibilities it brings.

Such has life been this past little while. God has been teaching me about me. He has been revealing to me who I am, who I am in Him. He has been showing me how to live in the present, and not in the future where I have to admit I have lived most of my life. We miss out on so much of life by constantly looking to the future, and we miss the treasures of the moment that He has right here in front of us in the present. Maybe it took me longer to learn it than most, but it has been life changing for me. I have been learning about not going back into old ruts, but taking one day at a time, living in the moment, experiencing the present and touching the lives and the things He needs me to touch right here and right now. He has had me praying very specifically in some areas, ministering as He leads in others, and all the while showing me who I really am in Him. He has nudged me over and over again for several months to read/listen to Captivating again, and now that I am listening to it while in my car, He is giving me a whole new perspective. It's about becoming who I am supposed to be in Him and for Him. It's about walking in and appreciating and embracing His attributes that He has placed in me. Becoming everything He has created me to be.

The Lord has also through this been opening some very unusual doors for me. Meeting people for the first time with some amazing testimonies, things I have placed in my heart to chew on until He shows me more. Sisters of Ruwanda ministry that I am volunteering for. See the necklaces they have made, putting the tag on each one with the name of the dear sister that made it. Hearing the testimonies of how they have come out of their life of prostitution, and are blessed with this business opportunity to make money so they don't have to go back to the streets. Being rescued from a life that only God could reach down and rescue them from, and He does that, through all of us. It's an amazing time, it's a time of wonder and awe and "suddenly". I don't know what's next, but I know that I am taking one step at a time, one day at a time, living in this wonderful present, and being open to accept all of the opportunities He is bringing my way. He keeps showing me it is about realtionship and connections. Connections that He has put in place, we are all connected, and He is working it all for our good. It's not about me's about Him...Jesus....and I love Him so much.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

OK, I didn’t write this but I couldn’t resist posting....

This was sent to me and I couldn't just pass it up. I had to post it. I thought it was a very interesting article. I have seen and heard many, many examples of younger men, older women. I have always been interested in hearing more about the successful relationships that people have told me about, so I thought it was very interesting that this article came to me. Thought I would share it for what it's worth........

Dating Older Women By Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D...

Perspectives from the "younger men" and dating tips for them

The reasons why some men date older women are as varied as the women themselves. These women, because of their experience, often have more wisdom and self-assurance than younger women -- perhaps they may also possess more self-reliance and tolerance.
Some men receive mentoring from older women, who have had more relationship experience and often understand men well. Clearer about who they are and what they want, "older women" may even have an advantage in the dating arena.
In some cases, having a relationship with an older woman may work for men who don't want children:
"My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years," says Rocco. "She was 53 and I was 41 when we met. We both shared many values, including our faith. Our children are grown up now, and mine love her. So, it's worked out very well. I tell men who have been divorced at least once to go for an older woman... If you find the right one, don't worry about age -- unless you still want more children."

A man who dates someone who has children his age will run into the occassional social opposition. But there are men (like Ben, 25, who is dating a 45-year-old woman) who can overcome resistance. Ben says:
"A woman can be 25 and marry a man of 45 or 55 and, hey, whatever. Traditionally, it's been ingrained in our psyches... that's the way it goes, but not the other way around. We've always known that age may be an issue. But now that we've been together for a while, I have a new perspective.

Through my experience as a therapist and marriage counselor, age difference isn't as important in a relationship as most people think. What counts is whether a couple can create a working partnership and build an enjoyable life together. So, for you men who've fallen head-over-heels in love with an older woman, I've developed nine tips on how to enjoy your newly found romance:

1. Be a gentleman. An older woman wants to be treated with respect, like any woman does. While she might attracted to your rebelliousness or youthful attitude, she still wants you to treat her with good manners.
2. Don't get ahead of yourself. Don't worry about the future until you actually might have one. Take your time and allow the relationship to develop.
3. Stay calm. You may be excited, but don't overdo it. Have fun and enjoy your dates, but don't come on too strong. She has some reservations, too.
4. Be charming. Don't underestimate how powerful your smile can be. Use it often, make eye contact, and keep the conversation flowing. Pay attention to what interests you about your date, and show interest in her opinions, experiences, and activities. Be complementary whenever possible, and respond intelligently to whatever she says.
5. Don't focus on looks.
Give complements, but focus less on her physical appearance -- she may be anxious about it. And even if you're complementary, she may worry that you're too focused on looks. She wants to be appreciated for who she is, including her intellect and style. Compliments like "That color is lovely on you," or "You look great tonight" are safer than "You're in great shape."
6. Have fun. Keep your dates simple and have a good time. Focus on being pleasant, and not getting too far ahead of the relationship. Refrain from talking too long about any one subject without inviting a comment from your date.
7. Keep conversation interesting and light. Feel free to talk about anything, including your personal lives, past relationships, and love in general, but don't be the one who brings up the intimate topics first. Be wary of prying too deeply into her private life and secrets, unless the information is voluntarily offered.
8. Avoid talking too much about yourself. Keep your focus on learning about your date. Dole out the boring information about yourself. Punctuate your conversation with questions: "What do you think?" "Has it been that way for you?"
9. Pay attention! Listen to answers to your questions. You have things to learn here! Seek to get to know each other better. No matter how thrilled you may be about her, listening to what she says, watching what she does, and understanding how she feels are the most important things you can do.

Can these older woman/younger man relationships last?
In my counseling office, I have seen many relationships succeed with this kind of older woman/younger man scenario.

The media focuses on the age difference, but what really makes or breaks the relationship is how well the couple can form a partnership that works.

Age difference is an adolescent worry: When you're a teenager, an age difference of even two or three years makes a vast difference in your experience and your outlook on life. Such a difference can interfere with communication, life goals, outlook, and relationship experience. In addition, for the young, the social reaction to such a relationship is often negative. If one partner is underage, a sexual relationship is even against the law.
But, as you get older, life experience and emotional growth help to equalize your relationship skills and resources. A 10-year or more difference in your ages makes little difference in how well you can conduct your relationship.

Don't focus on an arbitrary numbers difference in your ages. If you are getting along, you have good communication and problem solving, and you love each other, that's a precious thing, and far more important than any age difference could be. If other people have a problem with it, let it be their problem. Whether or not a relationship is healthy is not determined by age differences, but by the interaction between the partners.

Success in these relationships depends on what the motivations of both people are. Some older people feel younger at heart than their contemporaries and like to date people who are as active as they are. Chronological age doesn't always reflect either physical capability or emotional maturity.

If you're asking: "Is it OK for me to have a partner who is much older or younger than I am?" You'll do better off if you forget about your ages and concentrate on whether the relationship works for both of you, or not. What really makes a romantic relationship succeed is the emotional connection.

Saturday, July 12, 2008


Yes, that's right RUTS! God really started talking to me about being in Ruts last week. Someone mentioned it in our group that went out to the Parthenon one night and it just struck a chord in me and I started thinking about it more and more. I realized how easy it is for us to get stuck in Ruts, get out of old Ruts just to go right back in because it's easy and sometimes comfortable, or create new Ruts.

God's not in the RUTS!!!! Over the weekend I was driving in the country and looked out into a field and saw where the cows had made a path from a barn to the field and vice versa. When I saw it the Lord immediatly started talking to me about that. He showed me that as followers of Christ, we have gotten into Ruts in ways we never even thought was a Rut. We have gotten into Ruts in our prayer lives, in the way we pray for people, for situations. We have gotten into Ruts in the way we go to church, how we worship, how we come to Him. If something familiar happens the same way it has happened before in our lives, we tend to go back to that old Rut. We have gotten into Ruts in our thinking processes. If we are hurt, or offended or if something happens in life as it has happened before, we retreat to old thought patterns, which triggers old ways of thinking and acting accordingly, and yet we somehow expect different results!

The Lord said that those cows go out of the barn to the field the same way, every day, out and back in, out and back in, the same old rut. He has said the He is not in the barn anymore........He's over on the other side of the field! He's doing a new thing, working over there and if we stay in the same Rut, headed towards the barn, we're going to miss Him! His word never changes, the end results He has promised in His word never changes, BUT the way He brings them about changes. He is not a cookie cutter God! He is not going to do things the same way over and over again, so that He can be figured out and we can then say, OK if I do this and this and say this and this, and pray that and that, then Poof.....I can have the same results everytime! Nope, not gonna happen! Then we wouldn't need Him if we could do it on our own. He is asking why are we reverting back to old thought processes (Ruts), Old ways of doing things (Ruts), approaching Him in the same old tired way (Ruts), asking for the same old things (Ruts) and expecting something brand new, or something different!

He is saying, "Get out of the Rut, run across that field towards me! Behold old things are passed away, and behold alls things have become new!" Come learn of Him in a new way, force yourself out of that Rut so He can manifest into your life the things you have wanted and prayed for and believed Him for all of your life! Know that He is going to do it His way, and it won't be back where the Rut is! When Jesus called Peter to come and meet Him on the water, I expect the diciples had been across that water that same way many, many times. Peter didn't think twice about jumping out of that boat and heading towards His Lord, but then huge winds, tall waves (circimstances) got in the way and he let those become bigger than his faith in Jesus. Peter got out of the Rut, and he too walked on the water! Jump out of that Rut or Ruts, start running towards Him in a new thought life (our mind is renewed by the word of God), in new ways of thinking, in new actions, and don't let any circumstances get in your way! You will be so glad that you did. You will see the manifestation of the prayers, the things you have been believing Him for, in your life! Praise Him! Jesus is so worthy of ALL our Praise!

Monday, June 23, 2008

True Intimacy....True Love

I had an amazing experience almost 2 weeks ago now, and I just continue to grow and learn what it all means, and I wanted to share this with everyone so that hopefully it will be light in darkness, blessing where there has been desolation, hope where there has been no hope. I know people look at my myspace and my blogspot (I have been blogging more there than here lately) from all over the country and the world, and I am trusting that this is going to be a witness to everyone around the world that reads it. It is all about HIM and it is all for HIS Glory.

I will be very open and vulnerable, but I am secure in who I am and who He has made me, so I do this for His Glory and so that others might see HIM and what He has for them.

I had a difficult couple of days this particular week. I had been fretting and talking with the Lord about some things that had happened, some hurtful, insensitive things that had been said to me, and just generally fed up with this area of my life. I had had enough. As I was crying out to God on a Tuesday morning, I felt angry, angry at the Lord. That is unusual for me, but I knew that I had come to the point (where He wanted me all along) that I needed to get very real with Him and very honest with Him about where I was and what I truly felt (like He didn't know that already!) As I was driving to Whitehouse to a one day job God had provided for me (that's another blog soon about His amazing Provision), I was crying, talking to the Lord, getting real plain, and real.....real with Him. I am writing this for anyone who has ever experienced any type of rejection in any area of life, felt like God was withholding things from you....etc. If you are breathing, you have experienced that at least once in your life. Back to the story, I told the Lord that I didn't understand why things had come about, had taken place the way they had in the past 2-3 years. I mean after all, I have waited a long time for God to manifest in my life, His promise of a husband and mate. So anyway I was getting very honest with Him about things and I was upset. I was thinking about some conversations and events that had taken place and really asking the Lord some very pointed, serious questions. He really does want us to get real with Him, because guess what? He can handle it. It is when we get real with Him that we are really getting real with ourselves and opening the door and allowing Him to now work and move because we have finally surrendered and gotten ourself out of the way.

Well, while I was at this job, I was by myself the whole day. I was thinking and thinking and talking to the Lord a little here and there, but I was hurt and mad. I was standing in front of the sink, the water was running to fill up the bucket and I was just watching it. In my minds eye I saw, and felt the Lord walk up behind me, I could feel Him, His presence, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. He put His hands on my shoulders and He whispered in my left ear "I love you" and I just started to cry and I relaxed and leaned back into Him and said "I love you too". Then He whispered in my right ear "I do have my best for you" and I cried even more and said "I know you do, but why can't it be right!?" And then I just let the flood gates open and I cried and cried and worshipped Him. It was the most amazing, initimate moment I have ever had with Jesus like that. We talk about how that He is our Husband first, or if you're a man, He is your Wife first and foremost, but I actually got to experience Him that way for the first time. Not only was He showing me and telling me how much He loved me, as a husband would, but He was also showing me an example of what a husband should be to me. If a husband and his wife were upset, or she was upset with him; he would go to her and comfort her and tell her that he loved her and that it was going to be alright, he would take care of her.

So here are some things He has continued to show me and build on that moment that I want to share with all of you. He loves us so much, He desires to be in every part of our lives. He desires a deeper intimacy with us, and having had just a taste of it, I can tell you it is so amazing. He is giving us an example of what He has planned for us, His best for us. He has shown me over and over and over the past few months His example of the roles of men and women. How He created it to work, and what He intends for me and all of you. If you are a woman, Captivating as He created you to be, we are to be pursued, we are to be fought for, don't settle for anything less (Not talking about playing games girls, just sharing His plan He has already put in place). Not striving, not hiding, not fighting, but Captivating, having that beauty to unveil, being the warrior princess when needed. If you are a man, you are made in His image, to be the Wild at Heart, hunter, fighter, pursuer, lover, priest of the home He has called you to be. Don't let the world tell you that you can't do it, or that you don't measure are a child of God! You have HIS attributes!

He has told me and shown me over and over recently, I am not a concellation prize, I am not second best, I am not someone to be "settled" for and neither are you! I have not been passed by and I am not a victim! He has His best and I am His best for the man that will have his eyes opened to that and see what God has in store for him. And His promise is the same for everyone of you! He does not prefer one over the other....He is in love with all of us. Won't you be in love with Him too! Allow Him into the deepest most intimate parts of your won't regret it.

Ephesians 5

"2And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour."

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Currently reading :
The Secret Place: Passionately Pursuing His Presence
By D. Arthur Fife

Friday, June 13, 2008

ALL Provision is in HIM

I just had to share how amazing, how awesome, how wonderful, how beautiful my Lord is. Several weeks ago, I obeyed the Lord by stepping out by faith and leaving the previous job I had. I knew I was supposed to leave and He opened a door for me to do so and I felt as if I was jumping off a cliff not knowing if He would catch me, but I knew in my spirit I was doing the right thing. I don't know where to start to tell you about how my spirit grasped the He is our Provision, that He has ALL provision in HIM. Read John 17:21. If Jesus lives in us and we live in Him, where is the provision? There is no lack of jobs in Him, there is no lack of finances in Him, there is no lack of husbands/wives in Him, there is no lack of health in Him, there is no lack of restoration in Him, there is no lack of opportunities in Him. No Lack In Him!

He has proven Himself to me over and over again and again in this past month. The more I have witnessed about this revelation knowledge to others in the past few weeks, the more I've seen His hand daily in my life. From jobs, to supernatural provision, to intimate moments with my Lord like I have never experienced before! He is changing my life, He is working in and through me and I give Him every bit of The Glory! He has done it all! He is so very worthy of ALL of our Praise! He has blessed me exceeding, abundantly above all that I can ask or think. He has shown me Himself as my Provider, as my Husband, as Warrior fighting on my behalf, as Romancer as my Healer like I have never known or experienced before. I just wanted to take a minute to share with you all and Give Jesus all of my Praise, and ALL of The Glory! He is so worthy! And He does not prefer one person over another, what He has done for me He will do for you! Trust Him like you've never trusted Him before! He won't ever leave you for fail you!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Just like The Screw Tape Letters by C.S. Lewis, this is again, a reminder of what is really going on in the spirit realm, the battle that really is waged against us. Do we find ourselves asleep, or are we going to wake up to the fact there is a real enemy...the devil....who is out to destroy us? Whether it is with complacency and indifference, or blatant attacks against our stand for The Lord and what He has called us to do....there is a villain, and we can not afford to be naive of his motives......

"The question is not, Are we spiritually oppressed, but Where and How?

Think of it—why does every story have a villain?

Little Red Riding Hood is attacked by a wolf. Dorothy must face and bring down the Wicked Witch of the West. Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi go hand to hand against Darth Maul. To release the captives of the Matrix, Neo battles the powerful “agents.” Frodo is hunted by the Black Riders. (The Morgul blade that the Black Riders pierced Frodo with in the battle on Weathertop—it was aimed at his heart). Beowulf kills the monster Grendel, and then he has to battle Grendel’s mother. Saint George slays the dragon. The children who stumbled into Narnia are called upon by Aslan to battle the White Witch and her armies so that Narnia might be free.

Every story has a villain because yours does. You were born into a world at war. When Satan lost the battle against Michael and his angels, “he was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him” (Rev. 12:9). That means that right now, on this earth, there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of fallen angels, foul spirits, bent on our destruction. And what is Satan’s mood? “He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short” (v. 12). So what does he spend every day and every night of his sleepless, untiring existence doing? “Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to make war against . . . those who obey God’s commandments and hold to the testimony of Jesus” (v. 17). He has you in his cross hairs, and he isn’t smiling.

You have an enemy. He is trying to steal your freedom, kill your heart, destroy your life." (Waking the Dead , 150–51)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Walking with God

Wow, you must go to this new website for John Eldredge and listen to the webcast about his new book. It is an entire evening and message about 'Hearing from God'! It is absolutly phenominal! Sign in and listen. I am ordering the book. I want to draw closer and hear from Him more intimately. You will be blessed and inspired to walk even closer with Him after you hear/read this new book. Just click on the title of this blog to take you there. I am also including it under my friend list to the right to get to this site.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

There is no lack...He has provided everything

There have been some challenges of late, to say the least. My job ended, but it was God opening a door. Through prayer and counselling with treasured prayer partner-friends, I saw the light and stepped out by faith to trust God to take me in the direction and next step He wanted me to take. I don't know where that's taking me, I honestly don't. Whether it is to stay here, move somewhere else totally, move into another area of work, relationships, life. I am not sure, but what I do know is I am available, ready and willing for whatever direction in every area of my life that He wants to take me.

Four things that really ministered to me and spoke to me in the past week I wanted to share.

First: I was listening a series by TD Jakes called "Divine Strategies" over the weekend while on the way to my parents. On one of the messages he talked about the children of Israel and Jericho. It was amazing what they went through, not unlike things we do today. What he was pointing out was that God is not a cookie cutter God. He does not get in a rut and have people do the same thing over and over so that He can be figured out. He had them walk around that wall every day. Joshua chapter 6. God told Joshua to walk around the wall one time each day for 6 days. So naturally, they thought the 7th day would be the same, but it wasn't. On the 7th day he told them to walk around the city 7 times not once as before. Not only that, Joshua told them they couldn't even make a sound that day, until he told them to shout. Can you imagine that many people walking around that city, 7 times, and not one peep, not one sound coming out of their mouths. You know they thought Joshua was crazy. God asks us to do what seems like crazy things sometimes, but He is working all things together for our good. So they obeyed, they received God's strategy everyday for where they were and what they were to do and sure enough, when Joshua told them to shout and sound the horns on that 7th day, the walls fell just as God has promised. What TD was saying about that story that moved me so much was that they were in a hard place, going through some rough things, but when they made that place they were in a sanctuary, and began to worship the Lord in the middle of hardness, in the middle of that "hell" they were going through, God gave them HIS strategy. And they obeyed that strategy and God delivered them so far out of that place they were in, that even to this day, Jericho can not be found by archeologist! What he said was that no matter how hard, how rough the place we have been in, if we will worship God, in the middle of this rough place, He will give us His strategy of what to do and He will deliver us so far out of what we have been going through, so far out of the place we have been in that our children and grandchildren will not be able to find any evidence of those hard places, those challenges in our life, but by our testimony only!!!! We will be delivered, moved by God, so far out of this place we have been in, and so blessed and serving God that our children and grandchildren won't be able to identify that we were ever in this time of difficulty!!!!!! Glory to God! Haleluiah!

Second: I was talking with a special, anointed man (you are meant for amazing things), about things that are missing from the Body of Christ. Especially in certain areas. Where are the revivals? Where is the Unity of churches worshipping and serving God as one, as followers of Christ. Where are the miracles, healings, salvations that are the foundation and Core of The Word of God. He has been working in us and calling us to more, something greater. He has been stirring us to wake us up (notice the increased earthquakes, tornados, tsunami's, cyclones) He needs us to step up to the plate and move to a new level of trust, a new level of faith in Him. There is a world out there to reach, and putting that first and foremost brings all of the other things into our life that we need and want and that He wants to give us. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things will be added unto you! People need us to bring Jesus to them. They are hurting, they need us to be ready to pray for them to be healed, delivered, set free, dicipled. Our jobs, our "stuff" doesn't matter, it is about putting The Kingdom of God first, putting people first, being His eyes and His hands and His ears and His mouth.....His Heart. To love unconditionally and be His handmaidens and servants and He will draw the people to Him. It is all for His Glory.....not ours. To shine for Him and lead people into the throne room of God so they too can be in and have a relationship with Him. A heart of worship draws people from every walk of life to Him. We have that heart of worship...........

Three: Right along with this, you can see a theme here that God has been revealing, one step at a time. There was another couple that I have known for a while and watched their lives. I was talking with the wife the past few days as well. They have one of those Jericho testimonies. They have been delivered and so far removed from the "hell" that they were going through, that you can not tell, their grandchildren have no way of knowing, where they came from. 12 or 13 years ago, they were seperated, neither were saved or living for God. He was having an affair, and she was just coming to the Lord, just learning about him and was praying for her husband, praying for their marriage. They were in an amazingly difficult and challenging place. A very long story, and tremendous testimony made shorter, she got saved, prayed for him and God brought him back, he got saved, they started going to church together and began to share about the amazing deliverance God had given them in their lives. They began to be a witness and testimony of God's faithfullness and goodness and sharing with other couples and God began to use them to minister to other marriages, to other people about God's faithfulness and deliverance for them. I watched them from the time they were saved to now grow stronger and stronger in the Lord and in their marriage. Together overcoming every obstacle the enemy tried to throw in their way. Committing their lives to the Lord and to each other to work together for the Lord in whatever capacity he called them to, never looking back. They have raised their family and the very small amount of money they have lived on over the years, God has mulitplied to what I am about to tell you. There has never been much money, but because they have walked out "seek you first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you" they have a home, all new furniture, everything they need is met, but on paper it does not make sense. They have been good stewards of what God has blessed them with, so seeking a high paying job is not what is necessary. I have seen this testimony and it lines up with the first two points above. They have walked with the Lord, being a witness and light, giving their testimony and putting the Lord first, and their life is a living testimony of all of these things God has been showing me this past week. I want to be in this place, and have a testimony that glorifies God like this. There is not much money at all, but there is no lack in any area of their makes me cry because of His faithfulness.

Fourth: God showed me in the past couple of days, there is no lack in Him, in His Kingdom. There is no lack of finances, there is no lack of spouses, there is no lack of babies, there is no lack of health, there is no lack of restoration, no lack of jobs.....there is no lack of ministry to be done, there is no lack in Him, and we are in Him and we are his children. So as our Father, He wants us to step into the flow that is already there and let Him carry us in all of His abundance and provision to our next step. In seeking Him first, He can't help but keep His word....and all of these things will be added unto us.

He gave me Finding Nemo as an example. The currant that flowed under the sea that Nemo's Dad had to find so it would carry him to Sydney where he could find his Son, was the key. That currant is the kingdom of God and His way of doing things. Nemo's Dad had worked so hard and labored and toiled and done everything he knew and was getting no where; then he was told about that current, he eventually found it and when he did, all he had to do was jump into it and it carried him to where he needed to go. All provision was in that currant, he didn't have to swim, or toil, or fight, all he had to do was let the current take him there. It didn't mean that he didn't have to work and search to get to the currant, but once he got there the way was already made. (God's strategy, Jerhicho, supernatural provision) He had to step into that currant, that flow by faith! It was an amazing analogy that God gave me and I am so blessed.

He has so much more for us than we can even imagine. God is ALL provision! Halleluiah! He is saying to us, relax, trust, surrender and by faith jump into His ever flowing current, where all the provision is, and allow Him to carry us there, where He needs us to be and where we desire to go. We don't have to fight (I'm not talking about keeping our guard against the enemy, because we do have to be Warriors and Princess Warriors where the enemy is concerned), but totally relax, surrender, trust and "be not afraid....only believe", and He will take us there.

I have learned His provision is always there and has always been flowing, I just didn't know how to step into it. He has shown me that we can't ever get our eyes on the "need", because when we do that becomes bigger than everything else and our focus gets off of Him and His "strategy and plan". But when I surrendered, I allowed myself to just fall into it, all of me, lock, stock and barrell! Just like jumping off a cliff and all you can see is clouds below, but knowing and trusting that the parachute is going to open (His hands) are there to catch and carry us to the next phase, the next step in our lives.....but it is always for His Glory and for His purposes. I Praise You Jesus!

Monday, May 05, 2008

Spring.....Suddenly.....Habkkuk 2:2-3

"Can it really happen? Can things in our lives be green again? No matter what our creeds may tell us, our hearts have settled into another belief. We have accepted the winter of this world as the final word and tried to get on without the hope of spring. It will never come, we have assumed, and so I must find whatever life here I can. We have been so committed to arranging for our happiness that we have missed the signs of spring. We haven’t given any serious thought to what might be around the corner. Were eternity to appear tomorrow, we would be as shocked as I have been with the return of spring this week, only more so.

Spring here is really a wrestling match between winter and summer. It makes for a long time of waiting. You see, the flowers are pretty much gone in September. In October, the trees start turning gold and drop their leaves in a week or two. Come November, all is gray. Initially, I don’t mind. The coming of winter has its joys, and there are Thanksgiving and Christmastime to look forward to. But after the new year, things begin to drag on. Through February and then March, the earth remains lifeless. The whole world lies shadowed in brown and gray tones, like an old photograph. Winter’s novelty is long past, and by April we are longing for some sign of life—some color, some hope. It’s too long. Such as can be a promise we are waiting for, manifestation…just like Spring.

I rounded the corner into my new neighborhood, and suddenly, the world was green again. What had been rock and twig and dead mulch was a rich oriental carpet of green. I was shocked, stunned. How did it happen? As if in disbelief, I got out of my car and began to walk touching every leaf. The birds are back as well, waking us in the morning with their glad songs. It happened suddenly. In the twinkling of an eye, and it made my heart sing.

My surprise is telling. It seems natural to long for spring; it is another thing to be completely stunned by its return. I am truly and genuinely surprised, as if my reaction were, Really? What are you doing here? And then I realized, I thought I’d never see you again. I think in some deep place inside, I had accepted the fact that winter is what is really true . . . And so I am shocked by the return of spring. And I wonder, Can the same thing happen for my soul?

"Forever and ever? That’s it? That’s the “good news”? And then we sigh and feel guilty that we are not more “spiritual.” We lose heart, and we turn once more to the present to find what life we can. Eternity ends up having no bearing on our search for life whatsoever. It feels like the end of the search. And since we’re not all that sure about what comes after, we search hard now. Remember, we can only hope for what we desire. How can the church service that never ends be more desirable than the richest experiences of life here? It would be no small difference if you knew in your heart that the life you prize is just around the corner, that your deepest desires have been whispering to you all along about what’s coming. You see, Scripture tells us that God has “set eternity” in our hearts (Eccl. 3:11). Where in our hearts? In our desires.

The return of spring brings such relief and joy and anticipation. Life has returned, and with it sunshine, warmth, color, and the long summer days of adventure together. We break out the lawn chairs and the barbecue grill. We tend the garden and drink in all the beauty. We head off for vacations. Isn’t this what we most deeply long for? To leave the winter of the world behind, what Shakespeare called “the winter of our discontent,” and find ourselves suddenly in the open meadows of summer? Suddenly ready to embrace all that God has for us, bursting out with newness of life and sharing that life with others, especially that special one.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

We are faced with decisions.............

Wow, so many times we are looking for one thing, and then when something different comes, we dismiss it so easily. We've all done it. Maybe we should take a much closer look at what we didn't go looking for to see what God is up what way is He romancing us, what is the bigger story here, why don't we just choose to enter in?

"We are faced with a decision that grows with urgency each passing day: Will we leave our small stories behind and venture forth to follow our Beloved into the Sacred Romance? The choice to become a pilgrim of the heart can happen any day and we can begin our journey from any place. We are here, the time is now, and the Romance is always unfolding. The choice before us is not to make it happen. As G.K. Chesterton said, “An adventure is, by its nature, a thing that comes to us. It is a thing that chooses us, not a thing that we choose.” Lucy wasn’t looking for Narnia when she found it on the other side of the wardrobe; in a way, it found her. Abraham wasn’t wandering about looking for the one true God; he showed up with an extraordinary invitation. But having had their encounters, both could have chosen otherwise. Lucy could have shut the wardrobe door and never mentioned what had happened there. Abraham could have opted for life in Haran. The choice before us is a choice to enter in." (The Sacred Romance)

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Today's Message from Pastor Dave

It was a great message. If you want, you can click on the link above and listen to the podcast. One of those messages that takes you back to basics and the reality of what we are really here for. A reminder that really ministered to me and helped me get my mind off of me was about serving one another. True Servanthood. Dave was talking about serving one another and what a different place this would be if we had the attitude of "how can I better serve this person, instead of what can they do for me or have an ulterior motive." Having a heart truly burning for souls and serving them, helping others by serving them, mowing the yard of the lady next door or the neighbor out of town, not because it is convenient, but because it is serving them and showing them you want nothing in return. That makes them want the Jesus that lives in us. He truly helped me with a better perspective on marriage as well. He said that he and Kristy have arguments, disagree, just like anyone else, but the one thing that God has done for their marriage, even when they wanted to walk away, was remind them that marriage is about serving the other person, always, and not "whats in it for me". Death to self again... Now we realize that when we serve each other or as the word says 'prefer one another', then our minds our not on us but how can I bless this mate God has given me. I got excited just looking at that from a new perspective and starting to think about all of the ways I could serve and be a blessing to my husband when I get married. It's going to be an amazing time for sure! Anyway, listen to the Podcast I know God will bless you.

Also here is another great view of that perspective from The Sacred Romance:
Seeing from a Different Perspective

"Entering into the Sacred Romance begins with eyes to see and ears to hear. Where would we be today if Eve had looked at the serpent with different eyes, if she had seen at once that the beautiful creature with the charming voice and the reasonable proposition was in fact a fallen angel bent on the annihilation of the human race? Failure to see things as they truly are resulted in unspeakable tragedy. From that point on, the theme of blindness runs throughout Scripture. It’s not merely a matter of failing to recognize temptation when we meet it; like Elisha’s servant, we often fail to see the drama of redemption as well (2 Kings 6:15–17).

Needless to say, Elisha’s servant suddenly saw from a whole different perspective. I (John) think it’s safe to assume he also experienced a bit of emotional relief—a recovery of heart. What for him had undoubtedly been a harrowing encounter became an exciting adventure.

The apostle Paul experienced an even greater surprise on the road to Damascus. Thinking he was doing God a favor, he was hell-bent on crushing a tiny religious movement called the Way. But he had the plot and the characters completely confused. Paul, known at that time as Saul, was playing the role of Defender of the Faith, when in fact he was Persecutor of Christ. It took a bout of blindness to bring things into focus, and when the scales fell from his eyes, he never saw things the same way again. Paul later explained to the Romans that human sin and suffering are the result of foolish and darkened hearts, brought on by a refusal to see the Sacred Romance. It should come as no surprise that his most fervent prayer for the saints was that the scales would fall from the eyes of our hearts so that we might not miss the Sacred Romance (Eph. 1:18–19). (The Sacred Romance , 145–46)

Have an awesome week!

Friday, April 25, 2008

Releasing the Heart is no easy project......

You know, it's always easy for us to say "trust God" and we work at it more and more every day. But it's not as easy to do. We grow in that, it's a process. We want to trust Him completely and never give anything we have taken to Him a second thought....but the truth is, we almost always give it a second or third or more thought. I know I am working on walking in more trust with Him especially in certain areas. I needed to hear this today.

"Remember, the purpose of this thing called the Christian life is that our hearts might be restored and set free. That’s the deal. That’s what Jesus came to do, by his own announcement. Jesus wants Life for us, Life with a capital L, and that Life comes to us through our hearts. But restoring and releasing the heart is no easy project. God doesn’t just throw a switch and poof—it’s done. He sends his Counselor to walk with us instead. That tells us it’s going to be a process. All sorts of damage has been done to your heart over the years, all sorts of terrible things taken in—by sin, by those who should have known better, and by our Enemy, who seeks to steal and kill and destroy the image bearers of God. At best, “hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Prov. 13:12). Certainly there’s been a bit of that in your life. “Even in laughter the heart may ache” (Prov. 14:13), which is to say, things may look fine on the outside, but inside it’s another story.

We’re told to “trust in the LORD” with all our hearts (Prov. 3:5), but frankly, we find it hard to do. Does trust come easily for you? I would love to trust God wholeheartedly. Why is it almost second nature to worry about things? We’re told to love one another deeply, “from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22), but that’s even more rare. Why is it so easy to get angry at, or to resent, or simply to grow indifferent toward the very people we once loved? The answers lie down in the heart. “For it is with your heart that you believe,” Paul says (Rom. 10:10). And in Proverbs we read, “The heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out” (20:5 NASB). Our deepest convictions—the ones that really shape our lives—they are down there somewhere in the depths of our hearts.

(Waking the Dead , 113)

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Year of Completion

I have been hearing for a few months about this year of 2008. You can feel it, you can sense it, you can almost touch it, what God is doing, it is so tangible. It's like being in a thick fog, and you can hear all of the sounds around you, you can smell everything and even almost reach out and touch it, but you can't quite see it.....yet. Several people have been sharing about the start of Passover and what that means. I was blessed to be a part of a Seder 2 years ago and it was so special for many reasons. I met some very special people there for the first time and we learned about The Lords supper in a whole new way. I was honored to serve my table, it was very humbling. It was like washing the Lords feet, only I was serving my brothers and sisters.....very special.

This year is going to be like no other in all its Glory. A year of completeness and fullness of God's promises in our lives like we have never known. I am in such expectancy with my face toward the Lord as He fills my heart with love and wonder and Himself. He has revealed such surprises, such wonderful surprises. I'm still processing it all to see what He will do. He is the love of my life and He will bring the earthly love of my life when His time is right, of that I'm sure. What the Lord has taught me about praying for others, is to pray for them to come to the place of making the best decision for them, not for me. I admit I have been selfish at times and I repent of that, it was not what I intended. It has changed my prayer life and I am so thankful for that. It's easy to be selfish, we all do it, it's not bad to want things for your life, but if it involves another, always pray for their best interest, not your own. Thank you Lord for reminding me of that. When emotions are involved, it's easy to think of ourself....

I've been blessed with hearing new music that has touched my heart, Sleeping at Last, NeedtoBreath, Matt Wertz, to name a few. I was listening to TD Jakes today on Growing in the Favor of God. Much needed for me to hear right now.

My heart is overflowing and the songs keep coming out on paper. I am amazed and give God the Glory. I will have a new song to post soon. "There's so much I'd love to say, but I'll save it for another day when hearts are ready to receive and with open arms we can believe.....are you ready............are you ready? I'll hold your hand as we cross the promised land, are you ready.......are you ready. Two hearts they beat as one you see, where God is the light that shines so free, are you ready........are you ready?"

God loves us so much, He always has our best interest at heart. I love you Lord and I love you all.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

I've Moved!.....

Just wanted to let everyone know that I have moved, first move anyway. I don't have my computer hooked up yet, so, I have limited computer time on my roommates computer. I move again May 3rd to my new roommate condo situation for a while. So watch for posts and if you need to get in touch with me email me or call me or text me. Have a great one!

Sunday, March 30, 2008

God's Heart for Relationship

"The vast desire and capacity a woman has for intimate relationships tells us of God’s vast desire and capacity for intimate relationships. In fact, this may be the most important thing we ever learn about God—that he yearns for relationship with us. “Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God” (John 17:3). The whole story of the Bible is a love story between God and his people. He yearns for us. He cares. He has a tender heart.

Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.” Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! (Isa. 49:14–15)

I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart. (Jer. 24:7)

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem . . . how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing. (Matt. 23:37)

What a comfort to know that this universe we live in is relational at its core, that our God is a tenderhearted God who yearns for relationship with us. If you have any doubt about that, simply look at the message he sent us in Woman. Amazing. Not only does God long for us, but he longs to be loved by us. Oh, how we’ve missed this. How many of you see God as longing to be loved by you? We see him as strong and powerful, but not as needing us, vulnerable to us, yearning to be desired."

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Awkward Love

It was funny that I got this devotional today. The Lord reminded me once again, who He has made me and how He has made me. It's not easy being a woman sometimes; but being Redeemed Eve is where God wants us and needs us to be and to stay....for others and to draw people to Him.

"Honest communication in love is the only way to live and grow in friendships. There are ebbs and flows. There may be real hurt and disappointment. But with the grace of God firmly holding us, it is possible to nurture and sustain deep friendships. We are designed to live in relationship and share in the lives of other women. We need one another. God knows that. We have only to ask and surrender, to wait, to hope, and, in faith, to love. We must also repent.

For a woman to enjoy relationship, she must repent of her need to control and her insistence that people fill her. Fallen Eve demands that people “come through” for her. Redeemed Eve is being met in the depths of her soul by Christ and is free to offer to others, free to desire, and willing to be disappointed. Fallen Eve has been wounded by others and withdraws in order to protect herself from further harm. Redeemed Eve knows that she has something of value to offer; that she is made for relationship. Therefore, being safe and secure in her relationship with her Lord, she can risk being vulnerable with others and offer her true self.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable . . . The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers of love.... is Hell." (C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves)
(Captivating , 181–82)

Monday, March 17, 2008


Big topic for sure. Sometimes we cause ourselves so much heartache and pain. You know, when God tells you something, and you know it's true. You know you heard His voice, but you keep acting like you didn't and keep putting off what it is He told you. Why do we do it?

I had a recent experience that caught me in just this place, somewhat. The Lord was leading me to do something I had been needing to do, and I kept putting it off and putting it off. The more I put it off, the harder I was making it on myself. He has already told me the end result. He has already told me some very specific things about the situation.........why are we not as quick to move sometimes when we Know that we Know that we know He has our very best interest and plans at Heart. His Heart. Jeremiah 29:11

Lord Jesus, I love you so much, and I ask you to help my unbelief, forgive me for not obeying as quickly as I should, I repent of my moments of distrust.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

In Defense of Discontent

I had to post this, it was too profound, and if all of us would admit it, it's where we are.

"By the grace of God, we cannot quite pull it off. In the quiet moments of the day we sense a nagging within, a discontentment, a hunger for something else. But because we have not solved the riddle of our existence, we assume that something is wrong—not with life, but with us. Everyone else seems to be getting on with things. What’s wrong with me? We feel guilty about our chronic disappointment. Why can’t I just learn to be happier in my job, in my marriage, in my church, in my group of friends? You see, even while we are doing other things, “getting on with life,” we still have an eye out for the life we secretly want. When someone seems to have gotten it together, we wonder, How did he do it? Maybe if we read the same book, spent time with him, went to his church, things would come together for us as well. You see, we can never entirely give up our quest. Gerald May reminds us,

When the desire is too much to bear, we often bury it beneath frenzied thoughts and activities or escape it by dulling our immediate consciousness of living. It is possible to run away from the desire for years, even decades, at a time, but we cannot eradicate it entirely. It keeps touching us in little glimpses and hints in our dreams, our hopes, our unguarded moments. (The Awakened Heart)

He says that even though we sleep, our desire does not. “It is who we are.” We are desire. It is the essence of the human soul, the secret of our existence. Absolutely nothing of human greatness is ever accomplished without it. Desire fuels our search for the life we prize. The same old thing is not enough. It never will be."
(The Journey of Desire , 10–11)

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Glorious Weekend....

I was in East TN this weekend and it was the most wonderful weather! I was so happy to see the sunshine. My parents and I took a ride in the new car God has blessed me with and I stopped and took some pics along the way. It was so beautiful. God was showing out today, giving us a taste of Spring and Romancing us. It was Glorious! The thought of Spring is exciting itself. I rings of all things new, everything blooming, new life, fresh starts, old things are passed away and all things become new. Love is in the air in the Spring as well. Just watch all of nature.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentines Day

Hope you all had a great Valentines day. My friends The Lowry Sisters, had a bunch of us over to their place and it was a good time as you can see from the pics. We were hamming it up for the photographer and itt was great to see my old friend Mike again! The Garlic Cheese Ring I made went over well, and the taco bar was a big hit. You guys have a great place!

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Definitely, Maybe

I went to see this last night, and it was a good night. I liked the movie, I liked everything about the evening. The movie kind of put a mirror up in front of my face and made me think about things I had not let myself think about before....well, not as deeply as I have thought about before. It is a Valentines movie and takes us on a journey of one man and his serious relationships and the discovery of how that one constant, that foundation, that rock that he always turned to when everything else went wrong, was where he wanted and needed to be all along. Sometimes circumstances happen, maybe we're not ready at the same time, we have to learn some things before we know that we know that a very special person in our lives, can really turn out to be the very special person.

Who knows, relationships are not black and white, they can get muddled sometimes, all kinds of variables come into play. Maybe she realizes what a great guy he really is and wants to go to the next step, but maybe he doesn't realize what a great girl she really is, so she keeps her mouth shut and moves forward. Or maybe, he recognizes what a great girl she is, but he doesn't really know what to do with her, maybe because he thinks he is really looking for something else, a different package maybe (emotional or physical). Maybe he really does love her, but he has not either recognized it yet, or won't admit it to himself. Such is this movie. Art really does imitate life.

This one was close to home, and it really does have me pondering. Sometimes we don't see the forest for the trees, but then maybe, one day, the forest parts to reveal that one tree. Go see the movie, you will be glad you did. I truly had a wonderful evening.......Happy Valentines Day!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

These Eyes

These eyes, the window to my soul
The window to my heart
These eyes, what did you see there
When you looked into these eyes

Did you see the love
Did you see the happiness to see you
Did you see the longing to be with you,
Only with you-in these eyes

There’s something there that can’t compare
Did you see the admiration, did you see how proud
Did you see all the things that wanted to be said out loud
In these eyes, in these eyes

Forever is a long time
Did you see it there
It’s hard not to see the heart
That’s not going to depart
In these eyes, in these eyes so clear

These eyes, what did you see there
When you looked into these eyes
How could you know that you take my breath away
When you look into these eyes

What you see is real
There is no pretence here
What you know in your heart
When you look into these eyes
(Copyright 2007-Lyrics by tam)

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Death to Self

I met some new friends at church this past week. We had a great time of prayer and worship on Friday night. There was this couple that just had a testimony that touched my heart. They are about 10 years apart, just got married this past October for the first time, and have been friends for about 26 years. They both said they never ever saw themselves wanting to be married to each other, but then God did something, changed something, and they realized after all that time, they were finally ready. It would not have worked any sooner because they were not ready. Lends a greater meaning to "Gods Timing".

As we were in prayer and worship, the wife started praying over the Marriages in the church, in the Body of Christ, in Nashville,etc. It was as if she had looked into my heart and was praying what she saw there. It blessed me and touched me so much to hear someone else have that heart as well. There she was praying about the attacks on marriage and family from the enemy, taking a stand against him in warfare to protect that holy wonderful union that God Himself created. "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder." What a refreshing, amazing, full of hope reminder.

Afterwards she and I and her husband were talking, only married since this past October, but a couple after my heart. She said something to me that really opened my eyes and blew me away. She said that she never realized before what marriage really meant, but that she was discovering that it was the ulitmate "death to self". Meaning, when the bible talks about us crucifying that old man and putting on the new man and Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; She was talking about walking in a new understanding of preferring one another. Honoring the other person first above your own self. Putting them before yourself, death to self. I had never, ever heard anyone share it that way before and it was extremely profound and made a huge impact on me. I know this, I will treasure and protect and work at and cherish my marriage more than most because I have had to wait so long for it. Just like this couple, it will be blessed of God.

Saturday, January 12, 2008


Decorating and Design--Well, I was truly blessed when a friend gave me her old kitchen table, which did'nt look old at all. Beautiful 48" round dark wood top with iron legs. Then I found 4 iron chairs on Craigslist (love that site) that matched the legs of the table so I was able to get those. Well, I am reupholstering the seats of the chairs and have included the before and after pics of the first chair completed. It's fun, but I am just ecstatic over how it looks. It's going to definitely brighten up the place for sure.

Life---wow....what to share and what not to share. I can honestly say that I have had some extreme challenges in my life, in several areas of my life, at the same time. Ummm, no need to go into details, because there will be an amazing witness and testimony that will come out of all of this, and God will get ALL of the Glory. John 10:10 says that the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but Jesus came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. That means in every area of our lives, spiritually, physically, emotionally, socially, financially, relationally. He left nothing out. I have learned that just when you think you have reached the lowest point, the hardest point in your life, you can still stand because of Jesus, when you thought that you would be crushed under it all. It is because of Him that I am who I am, It is He who has made me and not me myself. There was this guy, and he was sharing with us about a friend of his that had committed suicide; and he asked the question "How does someone get to that point? How do you get there?" I can honestly say that I now understand how people get there, how the enemy comes at them just like John 10:10 says, until they feel that there is no other hope. But because of Jesus, who is ALL hope, we can overcome any attack of the enemy. You see, it is not that as followers of Christ we don't go through the same things that everyone else does, that we don't experience some really hard blows, but it is what we do with it, what we do in those times, who we turn to (Jesus) that makes us different and shines a light into a very, very dark world and gives hope to others who think there is none. Is it easy? not even, it has been the hardest time of my life, but that does not change who and what Jesus is and what He has and is and will be doing in my life.
I went to a prayer service the other night, and it really ministered to me. It helped me to get my mind off of myself and God gave me a right perspective again. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and I will add all of these things to you." God knows I need "all" of those things added to me, to my life right here, right now, however, if I don't seek the kingdom of God first and seek to help others first, then all those things will be nothing.
So as the Holy Spirit woke me up very early one morning and had me open to it, I now proclaim it over every single area of my life! Malachi 3:10-12 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty. "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty.

Movies---Well I went to see Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was cute for sure. Several parts made me laugh out loud. I want to see the new Veggie Tales movie that came out this weekend "The Pirates who do nothing". I get the humor in Veggie Tales and it makes me laugh. I love to laugh, and really need to laugh now more than ever. It is so good for the soul. There is a lot of negative out there, it feels like we are totally swimming up stream sometimes, so when I go to the movies, I want to be entertained, something that makes me feel good, makes me laugh, makes me sigh with love. Corny or not, that's me and I make no apologies for it.

I could say a whole lot more, but nuff said for now.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

2008....An Adventure Begins

I may have posted this a long time ago, I'm not sure, but in looking forward to 2008 and all that it has in store for me, for us, I am excited; and so this daily devotional has a new meaning. I am so ready for the adventure and I know this year is going to be unlike any other before in every area of life. As we start this new year I encourage each of you to allow your heart to beat faster, like never before, take a deep breath, and allow God to sweep you up into His will never ever regret it! Tam

"Picture yourself in an ancient European city—Florence perhaps or Madrid. You find yourself at dusk, wandering through the older parts of town. Narrow streets are lined with dimly lit shops—pawnbrokers, no doubt, alongside various dealers in antiquities, booksellers, curious haunts harboring mysteries from far-off lands. Partly out of curiosity, partly out of a wish to avoid the jostling crowds, you turn into a musty parlor. As your eyes adjust to the twilight inside, you discover aisles crammed with Babylonian trinkets, Persian rugs, suits of armor, Colombian pottery. You browse indifferently among everything old and intriguing.

Then, something catches your eye. Sitting in a pile of forgotten silver urns and incense burners, it might have escaped your notice altogether. But it seemed to call to you, whisper your name. In fact, it is already in your hands. This is ridiculous, you think. You turn the lamp over and over most carefully, looking for . . . you’re not quite sure what. Obviously it is from the Middle East, Arabia most likely. What am I thinking? These things happen only in fairy tales.

Something you read long ago—was it in Chesterton?—crosses your mind. “An adventure is, by its nature, a thing that comes to us. It is a thing that chooses us, not a thing that we choose.” He’s right about that, you admit. Alice wasn’t looking for Wonderland when she fell through the looking glass. Come to think of it, the four children just stumbled into Narnia through the back of the wardrobe. Anodos simply woke to find fairyland had taken over his bedroom.

But another voice rises within you, urging caution. You’ve got places to go, for heaven’s sake. Don’t let yourself get carried away. The voice is full of common sense, of course. But the voice also seems old and tired. From how many adventures has it swayed you in your life? How many dreams left in the closet? “Closing time,” calls the curator of the shop. He begins to blow out the lamps. Your heart is racing. Somewhere back in your mind you hear the voice urging you on to your duties. But it is too late. You’ve already rubbed the lamp."(The Sacred Romance)