Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Interesting article

I had my eyes opened to some things recently. I have been "listening" to what is being said around me from many different directions. I keep hearing a theme. People have been coming to me from many different facets of life and through their unprompted sharing, have spoken volumns to me. More confirmations from the Lord on so many things He has been teaching me. Since the movie is coming out in a couple of weeks that I blogged about, I thought this article was interesting that was in my email today. Many of these points reminded me of some things I needed to remember....thought I would share it with others.

"Are you ready for a relationship that is going to lead somewhere without you being led on? It's time to start weeding out the commitment phobics and put your time and effort into men that are looking for the kind of relationship you want -- one that has a future. If you're interested in getting married, ignore these at your own risk. Here's what to look for:
1. His friends are married
If you are interested in a guy, check out his friends' left hands to see if they have wedding rings on.
Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married.
Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married. If all of his friends are still single and in the "party-with-the-boys" phase, that's a bad sign.
2. He's financially secure
Studies show that men who own a home are more marriage-ready. A man who is generally financially stable, and has his ducks in a row, feels marriage is a practical next step for him.
3. He pursues you
The guy who is commitment-ready is going to initiate doing things with you. If you're emailing him and he takes days to email you back, if you have to text him to find out where he is, if you are always calling him, you're chasing a man who's probably not marriage-material.
4. He's willing to wait
Yes, research is telling us what we already know: If a guy gets to know you before getting intimate, he is more likely to commit.
5. He watches DVDs with you when you're sick
Taking care of you when you're sick shows that this guy isn't just in it for the fun and sex. If he wants to be with you in bad times, it's a sign he's in it for the long haul.
6. He gets to know your friends and family
A guy who is thinking long-term wants to truly get to know you. Seeing you interact with your family and friends helps him learn where you come from and more about who you are. The flip side of it is that he will also want you to get to know him! He'll want to see if you fit in with his family and friends. A guy who keeps you separate from the important people in his life is just playing around.
7. He says, "we" instead of "me"
When he switches from "me" to "we", that's a sign he's committing to you at a deeper level. If your guy is all, "I", "me", and "my" instead of "we" and "us" in conversations after you've been dating a while, his mindset is still in single guy mode.
8. He's not afraid of compromise

A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way.
A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way. A bull-headed guy who needs everything his way or it's the highway, isn't ready for the compromise that's naturally part of a mature relationship.
9. He doesn't need excuses
Commitment-phobic guys always have an excuse about why they can't be with you on Saturday night, why they didn't call, and why they aren't ready for a relationship right now. A commitment-ready guy doesn't need excuses, he just needs you.
10. He likes being in a long-term relationship
Some men like being in a monogamous relationship and some don't. The sooner you realize and accept this the better. If he complains all the time about needing space, treats you like a giant burden instead of a gift, and keeps talking about taking things slow, he's telling you he's not ready for a commitment. On the other hand, if he's done with the party scene, enjoys your "couple time" together, and has a strong sense of family, you've found a commitment-ready guy."
Caroline Presno, Ed.D., P.C.C.,

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