Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Your Heart Has Been Set Free

"In [Christ] you were also circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature, not with a circumcision done by the hands of men but with the circumcision done by Christ. (Col. 2:11)

It’s not just that the Cross did something for us. Something deep and profound happened to us in the death of Christ. Remember—the heart is the problem. God understands this better than anyone, and he goes for the root. God promised in the new covenant to “take away your heart of stone.” How? By joining us to the death of Christ. Our nature was nailed to the cross with Christ; we died there, with him, in him. Yes, it is a deep mystery—“deep magic” as Lewis called it—but that does not make it untrue. “The death he died, he died to sin once for all . . . In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin” (Rom. 6:10–11). Jesus was the Last Adam, the end of that terrible story.

You’ve been far more than forgiven. God has removed your heart of stone. You’ve been delivered of what held you back from what you were meant to be. You’ve been rescued from the part of you that sabotages even your best intentions. Your heart has been circumcised to God. Your heart has been set free."
(Waking the Dead , 63)

Monday, November 27, 2006


Congratulations are in order for my friends Clay Krasner and RyLee Madison! They got engaged on Friday! I am so happy for you guys! You are perfect for one another. Clay, you are like a new man! I don't know when I have seen you so happy. RyLee you are an awesome godly woman with much wisdom. You are blessed with my great friend Clay and he is blessed to have you my friend. I can't wait to see all of the awesome things God is going to do in your lives, your marriage, your ministry together, your music, your anointing. Be so very blessed my friends......I love you both!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Thanksgiving and Thankfulness

This week was full of food, food, food! I am thankful for the food, I just don't want anymore for a while! We had Thanksgiving dinner at my brother Bill's and his wife Diane. My sister Sonya came with Mark my nephew and Kaitlyn my niece and our Mom and Dad were there. We had quite a spread, all of us cooked family favorites. I love my family and I am thankful that we were all able to be together this week. Great stories, lot's of laughs, my brother is quite the story teller. Every year his embellishment of the actual facts grows, and I still laugh! He is so funny! I am also thankful for my friends. One I have not seen since the summer, Keo, and others I have not seen that often because they moved (Andy and Shontel). They all have been a blessing to my life in so many ways. And I got to spend time with my good friends Clay and RyLee (more about them in the next blog). I am thankful for their love and their friendship. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with those that mean the most to you. You all mean so much to me. I love you bunches.........

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Journey of Desire

I have posted a lot this week, but I can't help it. This is really and truly been hitting me right where I am and I know that God is having me share this with all the singles out there, as well as married couples. In order for things to change in our lives, in order for us to receive from Jesus the things that He has desired for us all along (which is where the desire comes from), we have to come to the knowledge of these truths that are being spoken. To say this is an amazing book is not saying enough. Get it, read it, let it take you to where God wants and needs you to be. Allow Him to complete in you the work that He started so long ago. We will never "arrive" here on this earth, but there is so much more to the life He wants us to live than we are living. Haven't you said to God "There has got to be more than this? My heart truly yearns for more." I pray this is helping many of you out there as it is helping me. God desires for us to "get real" with Him in our prayers, in our intimacy with him. You see, He already "knows" our heart, our dreams, our "desires". So it is us that are not being honest with Him and ourselves. Read on and be so forever changed and blessed my friends. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, we have so much to be thankful for. We serve an awesome, amazing God who loves us so much that He does not want us to stay in the place we are, but wants us to come up higher and walk in so much more. I love you all so much.

"Embarrassed by Desire?"
A young woman came to see me, as most seeking counseling do, because she was at the end of her rope. What had begun a year earlier as mild depression had sunk deeper and deeper until she found herself contemplating suicide. We met for many weeks, and I came to know a delightful woman with a poet’s heart, whose soul was buried beneath years not so much of tragedy but of neglect. This one particular afternoon, we had spoken for more than an hour of how deeply she longed for love, how almost completely ignored and misunderstood she felt her entire life. It was a tender, honest, and deeply moving session. As our time drew to a close, I asked her if she would pray with me. I could hardly believe what came next. She assumed a rather bland, religious tone to her voice and said something to the effect of “God, thank you for being here. Show me what I ought to do.” I found myself speechless. You’ve got to be kidding me, I thought. That’s not how you feel at all. I know your heart’s true cry. You are far more desperate than that.

Why are we so embarrassed by our desire? Why do we pretend that we’re doing fine, thank you, that we don’t need a thing? The persistent widow wasn’t too proud to seek help. Neither was the psalmist. Their humility allowed them to express their desire. How little we come to God with what really matters to us. How rare it is that we even admit it to ourselves. We don’t pray like Jesus because we don’t allow ourselves to be nearly so alive. We don’t allow ourselves to feel how desperate our situation truly is. We sense that our desire will undo us if we let it rise up in all its fullness. Wouldn’t it be better to bury the disappointment and the yearning and just get on with life? As Larry Crabb has pointed out, pretending seems a much more reliable road to Christian maturity. The only price we pay is a loss of soul, of communion with God, a loss of direction, and a loss of hope.
(The Journey of Desire , 60–61)

Prayers and Pleadings
The book of Hebrews describes the prayer life of Jesus in the following way: “While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could deliver him” (5:7 NLT). That doesn’t sound like the way prayers are offered up in most churches on a typical Sunday morning. “Dear Lord, we thank you for this day, and we ask you to be with us in all we say and do. Amen.” No pleading here, no loud cries and tears. Our prayers are cordial, modest, even reverent. Eugene Peterson calls them “cut-flower prayers.” They are not like Jesus’ prayers, or, for that matter, like the psalms. The ranting and raving, the passion and ecstasy, the fury and desolation found in the psalms are so far from our religious expression that it seems hard to believe they were given to us as our guide to prayer. They seem so, well, desperate. Yet E. M. Bounds reminds us,

Desire gives fervor to prayer. The soul cannot be listless when some great desire fixes and inflames it . . .Strong desires make strong prayers . . . The neglect of prayer is the fearful token of dead spiritual desires . . .There can be no true praying without desire. (Man of Prayer)
(The Journey of Desire , 59–60)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


This CD has really been a blessing to me. It has been ministering to me a great deal. If you don't have it.......try it out. This song has meant a lot to me.............

Letting Go
by Jeremy Camp
album: Restored (2004)

Gripping arms so tight
The security I have inside
Knowing what is right
Holding onto my cry

Letting Go
Of the things I hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go
Of the Things I hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears

I have been brought to a place
Where I want to give up everything
Where all I can do is seek your face
The brokenness I will bring

Letting Go
Of the things I hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go
Of the Things I hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears

Holding onto the things I deem so strong
Holding on even though I know I've held on
too long

Letting Go
Letting Go
Of the things I hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go
Of the Things I hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go.

Read On............


The Feminine Heart.........“There are three desires that I have found essential to a woman’s heart, which are not entirely different from a man’s and yet they remain distinctly feminine. Not every woman wants a battle to fight, but every woman yearns to be fought for. Listen to the longing of a woman’s heart: She wants to be more than noticed—she wants to be wanted. She wants to be pursued.

Every woman also wants an adventure to share. “I want to be Isabo in Ladyhawk,” confessed a female friend. “To be cherished, pursued, fought for—yes. But also, I want to be strong and a part of the adventure.” So many men make the mistake of thinking that the woman is the adventure. But that is where the relationship immediately goes downhill. A woman doesn’t want to be the adventure; she wants to be caught up into something greater than herself.

And finally, every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil. Not to conjure, but to unveil. Most women feel the pressure to be beautiful from very young, but that is not what I speak of. There is also a deep desire to simply and truly be the beauty, and be delighted in.

The world kills a woman’s heart when it tells her to be tough, efficient, and independent. Sadly, Christianity has missed her heart as well. Walk into most churches in America, have a look around, and ask yourself this question: What is a Christian woman? Again, don’t listen to what is said, look at what you find there. There is no doubt about it. You’d have to admit a Christian woman is . . . tired. All we’ve offered the feminine soul is pressure to “be a good servant.” No one is fighting for her heart; there is no grand adventure to be swept up in; and every woman doubts very much that she has any beauty to unveil.(Wild at Heart , 16–17)

An Invitation to Leap from the Falls..........
What if ? What if those deep desires in our hearts are telling us the truth, revealing to us the life we were meant to live? God gave us eyes so that we might see; he gave us ears that we might hear; he gave us wills that we might choose; and he gave us hearts that we might live. The way we handle the heart is everything. A man must know he is powerful; he must know he has what it takes. A woman must know she is beautiful; she must know she is worth fighting for. “But you don’t understand,” said one woman to me. “I’m living with a hollow man.” No, it’s in there. His heart is there. It may have evaded you, like a wounded animal, always out of reach, one step beyond your catching. But it’s there. “I don’t know when I died,” said another man. “But I feel like I’m just using up oxygen.” I understand. Your heart may feel dead and gone, but it’s there. Something wild and strong and valiant, just waiting to be released.

If you are going to know who you truly are as a man, if you are going to find a life worth living, if you are going to love a woman deeply and not pass on your confusion to your children, you simply must get your heart back. You must head up into the high country of the soul, into wild and uncharted regions and track down that elusive prey. (Wild at Heart , 18) Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Whole Package.....a personal testimony

I was talking with the Lord yesterday, about "stuff" and He reminded me of the things that He started in me a little over a year ago. Things that He has shown me, done in me, changed in me over this past year or so. I felt really impressed to share this testimony with other singles. While it opens me up and makes me very vulnerable on things you like to keep very private, I know that the Lord wanted me to share it so it could help others that are currently in the same place that I was last year at this time.

I had just finished watching the movie "The Kid" by Disney with Bruce Willis. It was the second time the Lord had used that movie to do some major deliverance in me. I went upstairs to my loft and sat down and just started talking to the Lord about the second half of the movie and what I had just seen. I have always wanted to be married, learned so much about it from the Word of God, books, teachers, couples etc, thought I knew something and then that night, what the Lord revealed to me totally shocked me. As I prayed and talked with Him He told me that I had been "afraid" of marriage. Well that surprised me, but as I sat there, with this newfound knowledge, and allowed God to show me things, He unfolded what had been going on in my life for many years. Way in the back of my mind, not even concious of it, I began to see that I had been looking for and waiting for and beliving for a "perfect marriage". You know, you see other couples having problems, not being nice to one another, just everyday normal stuff and you think "that is not going to happen to me and my husband! It will be different for us because we are Christians (followers of Christ)." You know those thoughts that most singles have that things will be just perfect, God will bring our mate to us, we won't even have to work for it, and then we will float off in to la-la land on love and never have a cross word or any problems! Yep, that was me, but I had not realized it until that night. God told me that I had not been willing to accept "the whole package". I was looking for perfect up until that point. He said that everyone comes to a marriage with baggage, scars, flaws, hurts-all of us; and we have to be willing to accept the Whole Package. The mate for each of us includes all of those things. We will never have a marriage or the mate He has intended for us until we are willing to accept all that comes with that.....everyday life! I have listened to many singles talking for the past several months, and I do hear these undertones. I was there....I know.

What God did for me that night was deliver me from that "perfection mode" for marriage and a mate. I repented and asked God to forgive me for not being willing to accept the whole package prior to that. I asked Him to forgive me for running and being afraid of the very thing that I wanted the share my life with the man God intended for me and me for him. I asked God to forgive me for not being willing to come outside of the little box I had built for myself......small, comfortable (or so I thought), easy. I mean afterall, to look outside of the box, the norm (or the worlds definition of norm) was just too much work, it was hard to be shaped and molded into something new; but praise God He did that in me. From that day forward (late September 2005) I allowed Him to do a new thing in me. He brought me so far out of the box, you would not believe. I began to see relationships, marriages, from a new perspective, from a "real" perspective and God brought me to the place that I was very willing to "accept the whole package". You see, "the package" may not look like we think it should look like, may not sound like we think it should sound, may not come wrapped the way we think it should come......and that is how we can miss out on what God is doing. There is a lot of truth in the saying "never judge a book by it's cover." So whether you are a guy or a girl, waiting for "the one", just remember to allow God to take you outside of the box, and do in you what He wants to do, so that you are willing to accept "the whole package." Remember, you are a package too, and when you get married, the person you marry has to be willing to accept you and all of your flaws, and scars and pain and baggage......and God knows how to make that happen. TRUST HIM. Let go of the control singles.........let God bring you outside of the box you have created for yourself and show you a whole new world, a whole new outlook, a fresh anointing! You will be so glad you did.

One last note, not long after this night of deliverance and revelation for me, God gave me a vision right before I woke up. It was about "becoming" together. He used a Pampered Chef recipe that I do a lot, and showed the ingredients being put into the bowl one at a time. The bowl that held the ingredients was God, the foundation or base ingredient in the recipe was the Word, Jesus. The next ingredient that was added was the man, then the next was the woman, then the sauce and the garlic for "spice and flavor". Then the whole thing was mixed together, blended together, and put into the crust and placed in the oven. It "became" the finished product, a sweet smelling savor. But none of those ingredients would have been good alone. Italian sausage is great, but not by itself. Bell Pepper and Onions are great, but not by themselves. Garlic and sauce are great, but not by themselves. It took putting all of the ingredients, the husband, the wife, and all that went into the marriage - the spices the flavor, the "whole package" to make the finished product! And they "became" together. When two people come together as husband and wife, it is a start of a new journey, a new process and they "become" together. That is what the Lord showed me that morning. Be blessed my friends, I truly want Gods very best for every one of you. I love you all...........

Monday, November 13, 2006

Can I just say............................


.......that the Muth Math Concert tonight was amazingly remarkable . I had heard great things about them "live", but now that I have experienced it first oh man was it awesome! They are not only talented musicians, but very educated musicians as well (you're welcome Clay!). Several of us went tonight and it was amazing, just amazing.......and the drummer was crazy-insane! I thoroughly enjoyed it! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Proverbs 13:12

"Do we form no friendships because our friends might be taken from us? Do we refuse to love because we may be hurt? Do we forsake our dreams because hope has been deferred? To desire is to open our hearts to the possibility of pain; to shut down our hearts is to die altogether. The full proverb reads this way: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy.” The road to life and joy lies through, not around, the heartsickness of hope deferred. A good friend came to this realization recently. As we sat talking over breakfast, he put words to our dilemma:

I stand at the crossroads, and I am afraid of the desire. For forty-one years I’ve tried to control my life by killing the desire, but I can’t. Now I know it. But to allow it to be, to let it out is frightening because I know I’ll have to give up the control of my life. Is there another option?

The option most of us have chosen is to reduce our desire to a more manageable size. We allow it out only in small doses—just what we can arrange for. Dinner out, a new sofa, a vacation to look forward to, a little too much to drink. It’s not working. The tremors of the earthquake inside are beginning to break out."
(The Journey of Desire , 23–24) John Eldredge

This has long been one of my favorite scriptures because there has been some things that have been "deferred" in my life, for a really long time now. What are we without "Hope"? Bible hope is "earnest expectation", not wishing. I love the Eldredges and the ministry they have brought to the body of Christ about the Heart. It has and is changing my heart and giving me a greater perspective on God's heart...........His heart for us. He truly wants to give us His very best in every area of our lives, we just have to surrender it all to Him so He can. No striving, No hiding, No controlling...........just pure and simple TRUST.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Chill Time.......................

Several of us went to the Parry's after church on Sunday for homemade waffles and bacon and a great time! We took our turns on the trampoline (we laughed so hard) and ate some great food, football, music, and some great fellowship time. It was great! Take a look at the pic's. The last pic's are from Friday night......we had a great time!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Some thoughts I have wanted to share with you all. Many of us have been talking about these things for a while. As singles they are on our minds and heart so I thought I would give voice to those thoughts and pulled from a few resources to share……………..

"Has God abandoned us? Did we not pray enough? Is this just something we accept as “part of life,” suck it up, even though it breaks our hearts? After a while, the accumulation of event after event that we do not like and do not understand erodes our confidence that we are part of something grand and good, and reduces us to a survivalist mind-set. I know, I know—we’ve been told that we matter to God. And part of us partly believes it. But life has a way of chipping away at that conviction, undermining our settled belief that he means us well. I mean, if that’s true, then why didn’t he _______? Fill in the blank. Heal your mom. Save your marriage. Get you married. Help you out more. Bring the finances.

Either (a) we’re blowing it, or (b) God is holding out on us. Or some combination of both, which is where most people land. Think about it. Isn’t this where you land, with all the things that haven’t gone the way you’d hoped and wanted?"
Waking the Dead (John Eldredge)

1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.”

Captivating, Wild at Heart (taking part in a great adventure and Relationships and Marriage are just that-A Great Adventure); and Song of Solomon. My roommates and I are watching the 12 part series by Tommy Nelson (which I have not seen in several years) on Song of Solomon. It is a great series and I have never heard anyone teach on it, especially not like Tommy Nelson who takes you verse by verse through the entire 8 chapters of this book. Snow Patrol has a song that says “It's not as easy as willing it all to be right , Got to be more than hoping it's right I want to hear you laugh like you really mean it, collapse into me tired with joy.” Did God just take something as complicated as Love, Relationships, Marriage, and just put us here and say “Hey, I know it’s not easy, but figure it out and hope that is works!” I don’t think so, because it is not easy, He gave us His blueprint for this very thing “Song of Solomon”. I am no expert, but I can share with you what God has to say about it in His word and let you walk it through in your own lives. In this amazing book, which the church has shied away from, because of it’s explicit content, God teaches us how He intended it to be between Men and Women from the Attraction, to Dating to Courting to Romance to Marriage and Sex (yep, it’s in there) to Confrontation/Fighting Fair, to Making Up to Life Long Commitment. It sheds light on this Mystery called Love and Marriage.

“The spiritual life cannot be made suburban,” said Howard Macey. “It is always frontier and we who live in it must accept and even rejoice that it remains untamed.” The greatest obstacle to realizing our dreams is the false self’s hatred of mystery. That’s a problem, you see, because mystery is essential to adventure. More than that, mystery is the heart of the universe and the God who made it. The most important aspects of any man’s world— his relationship with his God and with the people in his life, his calling, the spiritual battles he’ll face—every one of them is fraught with mystery. But that is not a bad thing; it is a joyful, rich part of reality and essential to our soul’s thirst for adventure.”
Wild at Heart (John Eldredge)

It’s important to lay some foundational things. There is more to relationships than just being attracted to one another, exploding with desire for one another (which burns out quickly if that is all it is based on). You want to be best friends with the person you will marry. You want to be able to talk and share about everything, and want to share your life and all the experiences that go with that. Sex is a great part of marriage, but if you don’t have the best friendship, the dreaming and working to achieve together, with God as your center (think of the triangle) then it won’t last the test and trials that life will bring.

Think about that. As John Bevere said at Desperation Conference in Colorado: “You want the relationship (mate) that will propel you to your destiny, not hinder you from it.” When two people decide that they want to get married, part of that has to be “What is God calling us to do together, what does He need us to accomplish for Him that we can not do by ourselves (alone).” All things are for His purposes, and He gives us “all things to enjoy.” There is always a greater reason for two people coming together in marriage than just being attracted or just making love (sex) or just having children, and all of those things are great…..don’t get me wrong. But as I heard it said many years ago, as the Kingdom of God goes, there is little that is more powerful than a husband and wife in one mind, one accord. They can change a whole city because a husband and wife can be one like no other two people can be. The enemy knows this, which is why he has fought marriages, Christian marriages so hard. You have to go into the Marriage/Relationship with the mind set “Divorce is not an option!” Take a stand against the enemy together, and watch your home, your family, your city change because of it! True, if it were easy, everyone would do it, and stick with it, but it is about Jesus, and the Word of God says “I can do all things through Christ (the anointed one and His anointing) that strengthens me.”

Song of Solomon shows us the blueprint of how to do this, for a lifetime and bring Glory to God at the same time. He shows us in this book the art of Attraction, and still glorify God, Courting and still Glorify God, Marriage, the wedding night (sex) and yes, bringing God Glory at the same time, Romance and still giving God the Glory, Fighting Fair and Resolving differences while giving God the Glory, and Romance and Companionship for a lifetime while giving God the Glory.

“You are Mine, You are Mine, You are Mine all mine, You are mine.” (Mute Math)

Love is Chosen: “Any parent or lover knows this: love is chosen. You cannot, in the end, force anyone to love you.

So if you are writing a story where love is the meaning, where love is the highest and best of all, where love is the point, then you have to allow each person a choice. You have to allow freedom. You cannot force love. God gives us the dignity of freedom, to choose for or against Him (and friends, to ignore Him is to choose against Him).

This is the reason for what C.S. Lewis called the Problem of Pain. Why would a kind and loving God create a world where evil is possible? Doesn’t he care about our happiness? Isn’t he good? Indeed, he does and he is. He cares so much for our happiness that he endows us with the capacity to love and to be loved, which is the greatest happiness of all.
He endows us with a dignity that is almost unimaginable. For this creator God is no puppeteer. “
Epic (John Eldredge)

“I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance” Lee Ann Womack

“I hope all my days will be lit by your face
I hope all the years will hold tight our promises
I don't want to be old and sleep alone
An empty house is not a home
I don't want to be old and feel afraid” Keane

You all are welcome to come and watch the “Song of Solomon” series with us. It will truly be an eye opening experience and you will be blessed! All you singles out there, feel free to comment! I love you all…….