Monday, June 23, 2008

True Intimacy....True Love

I had an amazing experience almost 2 weeks ago now, and I just continue to grow and learn what it all means, and I wanted to share this with everyone so that hopefully it will be light in darkness, blessing where there has been desolation, hope where there has been no hope. I know people look at my myspace and my blogspot (I have been blogging more there than here lately) from all over the country and the world, and I am trusting that this is going to be a witness to everyone around the world that reads it. It is all about HIM and it is all for HIS Glory.

I will be very open and vulnerable, but I am secure in who I am and who He has made me, so I do this for His Glory and so that others might see HIM and what He has for them.

I had a difficult couple of days this particular week. I had been fretting and talking with the Lord about some things that had happened, some hurtful, insensitive things that had been said to me, and just generally fed up with this area of my life. I had had enough. As I was crying out to God on a Tuesday morning, I felt angry, angry at the Lord. That is unusual for me, but I knew that I had come to the point (where He wanted me all along) that I needed to get very real with Him and very honest with Him about where I was and what I truly felt (like He didn't know that already!) As I was driving to Whitehouse to a one day job God had provided for me (that's another blog soon about His amazing Provision), I was crying, talking to the Lord, getting real plain, and real.....real with Him. I am writing this for anyone who has ever experienced any type of rejection in any area of life, felt like God was withholding things from you....etc. If you are breathing, you have experienced that at least once in your life. Back to the story, I told the Lord that I didn't understand why things had come about, had taken place the way they had in the past 2-3 years. I mean after all, I have waited a long time for God to manifest in my life, His promise of a husband and mate. So anyway I was getting very honest with Him about things and I was upset. I was thinking about some conversations and events that had taken place and really asking the Lord some very pointed, serious questions. He really does want us to get real with Him, because guess what? He can handle it. It is when we get real with Him that we are really getting real with ourselves and opening the door and allowing Him to now work and move because we have finally surrendered and gotten ourself out of the way.

Well, while I was at this job, I was by myself the whole day. I was thinking and thinking and talking to the Lord a little here and there, but I was hurt and mad. I was standing in front of the sink, the water was running to fill up the bucket and I was just watching it. In my minds eye I saw, and felt the Lord walk up behind me, I could feel Him, His presence, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. He put His hands on my shoulders and He whispered in my left ear "I love you" and I just started to cry and I relaxed and leaned back into Him and said "I love you too". Then He whispered in my right ear "I do have my best for you" and I cried even more and said "I know you do, but why can't it be right!?" And then I just let the flood gates open and I cried and cried and worshipped Him. It was the most amazing, initimate moment I have ever had with Jesus like that. We talk about how that He is our Husband first, or if you're a man, He is your Wife first and foremost, but I actually got to experience Him that way for the first time. Not only was He showing me and telling me how much He loved me, as a husband would, but He was also showing me an example of what a husband should be to me. If a husband and his wife were upset, or she was upset with him; he would go to her and comfort her and tell her that he loved her and that it was going to be alright, he would take care of her.

So here are some things He has continued to show me and build on that moment that I want to share with all of you. He loves us so much, He desires to be in every part of our lives. He desires a deeper intimacy with us, and having had just a taste of it, I can tell you it is so amazing. He is giving us an example of what He has planned for us, His best for us. He has shown me over and over and over the past few months His example of the roles of men and women. How He created it to work, and what He intends for me and all of you. If you are a woman, Captivating as He created you to be, we are to be pursued, we are to be fought for, don't settle for anything less (Not talking about playing games girls, just sharing His plan He has already put in place). Not striving, not hiding, not fighting, but Captivating, having that beauty to unveil, being the warrior princess when needed. If you are a man, you are made in His image, to be the Wild at Heart, hunter, fighter, pursuer, lover, priest of the home He has called you to be. Don't let the world tell you that you can't do it, or that you don't measure are a child of God! You have HIS attributes!

He has told me and shown me over and over recently, I am not a concellation prize, I am not second best, I am not someone to be "settled" for and neither are you! I have not been passed by and I am not a victim! He has His best and I am His best for the man that will have his eyes opened to that and see what God has in store for him. And His promise is the same for everyone of you! He does not prefer one over the other....He is in love with all of us. Won't you be in love with Him too! Allow Him into the deepest most intimate parts of your won't regret it.

Ephesians 5

"2And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour."

22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Currently reading :
The Secret Place: Passionately Pursuing His Presence
By D. Arthur Fife

Friday, June 13, 2008

ALL Provision is in HIM

I just had to share how amazing, how awesome, how wonderful, how beautiful my Lord is. Several weeks ago, I obeyed the Lord by stepping out by faith and leaving the previous job I had. I knew I was supposed to leave and He opened a door for me to do so and I felt as if I was jumping off a cliff not knowing if He would catch me, but I knew in my spirit I was doing the right thing. I don't know where to start to tell you about how my spirit grasped the He is our Provision, that He has ALL provision in HIM. Read John 17:21. If Jesus lives in us and we live in Him, where is the provision? There is no lack of jobs in Him, there is no lack of finances in Him, there is no lack of husbands/wives in Him, there is no lack of health in Him, there is no lack of restoration in Him, there is no lack of opportunities in Him. No Lack In Him!

He has proven Himself to me over and over again and again in this past month. The more I have witnessed about this revelation knowledge to others in the past few weeks, the more I've seen His hand daily in my life. From jobs, to supernatural provision, to intimate moments with my Lord like I have never experienced before! He is changing my life, He is working in and through me and I give Him every bit of The Glory! He has done it all! He is so very worthy of ALL of our Praise! He has blessed me exceeding, abundantly above all that I can ask or think. He has shown me Himself as my Provider, as my Husband, as Warrior fighting on my behalf, as Romancer as my Healer like I have never known or experienced before. I just wanted to take a minute to share with you all and Give Jesus all of my Praise, and ALL of The Glory! He is so worthy! And He does not prefer one person over another, what He has done for me He will do for you! Trust Him like you've never trusted Him before! He won't ever leave you for fail you!